I See the Dimming of the Light

March 16, 2018

You can't play a player... at least that's what I hear. Anyone who has ever been a victim of gas-lighting knows how infuriating it can be. All that you want from that person is some recognition that you matter, that you're not incompetent, and that they care about you too. Gas-lighting doesn't work if you don't care about the other person's opinion. 


I once was in an office, and there was a map with pins on it showing where everyone was from; I pointed to New Jersey and said: "this must be Gene's pin." (Gene's from New Jersey) He looked at me and said, "no, that's not New Jersey, that's Florida." Without ever looking back at the map and my finger still on the pin I asked him "do you think I'm stupid? I know the difference between New Jersey and Florida. Don't try me." Then I continued to point to Florida just to rub it in. Had I cared about his opinion I could have checked the map before I responded to him, but considering the height of the map and the angle of my elbow I knew there was no need to check. I mean, if you're going to mess with me at least say I was pointing at New York or Rhode Island! That was weak gas-lighting. 


I, on the other hand, say things with so much confidence that I was able to convince that same person that 6x5=28. Why did I do it, Because people can be easy to manipulate? It's funny how much a simple "are you sure about that?" can shake someone's confidence. I don't go around shaking people's confidence just for fun though. My generation was given too many damn trophies for sucking at life. Our confidence is too high and undeserved. If we never get challenged, then we settle and become complacent and wind up watching the news and seeing stories about porn stars and the president in the same sentence and think "this is normal." 


Next time someone is trying to gaslight you, telling you that you don't know what you're talking about, look it up and shut them down, and show them that your facts are more important than their feelings. We all walk around with phones aka the internet and when someone says something opposing we just say "oh well" as if there's no way to verify it! Write down your conversations; you'll start to realize some people are real jerks. And above all remember what Barney said "You are special, everyone is special in his or her own way!" and retaliate that with "that doesn't make sense. If we're all special no one is... I need to stand out in some way."


“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.” 
― Shannon L. Alder


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