R-E-S-P-E-C-T: find out what it means to me.

April 10, 2018

 

Respect, love, and trust what do these words mean? They're all supposedly nouns, that's where I get lost. I feel like respect is something you do, love is something you do, trust is something you do. You have to do these things actively. If l tell you I respect you but I talk over you, cut you off, don't consider your opinion (even if I know you know more than I do), then do I respect you? I don't have to do everything you say to respect you. If you think respect is me doing everything you say, then you don't respect me and my ability to rationalize for myself. I will listen and consider your opinion because I respect you though. The best example I can think of is the first amendment. I respect the first amendment, it allows us to say what we want (to an extent), without fear or censorship. So you can go say whatever dumb, racist, homophobic, misogynistic stuff you want to. There is nothing that says I have to take on your opinion, even if i decide to have a dialogue with you and listen to your reasoning.

 

Love in any form is also active unless you're talking about unconditional love. Love is so much work. It's no wonder this generation is hooked on tinder: With apps like Tinder, you don't have to respect, love, or trust anyone. It's all about satisfying the id; I need to be satisfied now, hearts be damned. We are living in salacious times that convince us we're doing too much if we show that we genuinely care and make a connection with someone. Relationships are no longer two people; it's you, your partner, their parents, their crew, your crew, your therapist, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, that random person who commented something to you at the mall or online. Do we ever stop taking in other people's opinions about our relationships, particularly unsolicited advice. People give so much unsolicited advice that they don't allow people to enjoy each other and their experiences. Almost everybody I know has that one person they were talked out of dating someone because their friends thought they were weird, or the job they passed up because their parents thought it was too risky. Now you get to fantasize about the "one that got away."

 

 

Trust, so hard to earn and so easy to lose. It is the cornerstone of all good relationships (at least the ones that I've had). If I don't even lend you a pencil because I know, I won't get it back; it's more than likely because last time I lent you something when I asked for you to return it, you were AWOL. If I would rather stay home alone than hang out with a group, it's because I can't trust them not to do the same stupid stuff they've been doing. I know people that think it's weird that I don't want to talk to them all the time every day. That's just not me. The most important thing to me is to be there when it matters. I can go a year or even longer without talking to you, but if I get that call, I'll lace up my boots and be wherever I need to be for you. 

 

All of these actions are two-way streets. If I treat you with respect, I expect reciprocation. If I love you... well, with that one, I only hope you're honest with me about your feelings. And if I trust you, hopefully, you trust me enough to communicate with me and know that I respect your beliefs.

 

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle

 

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