There's nothing worse than missing than living, it breaks my heart. This is a big thing for me, it's why I'm so full of redemption for those who have wronged me. You always feel like there will be more time to make up or reconnect with someone, but tomorrow is promised to none of us. I learned that lesson the hard way over a decade ago on a family vacation and it forever changed my perspective on waiting and life.
I was in high school and on spring break, my family had just moved to the Midwest and we went back east for vacation to see family and friends. The week before we left for vacation my dad and uncle were chatting on the phone and I was in the background making fun of them as a daughter and niece does. My father asked me if I wanted to speak to my uncle and I just told him I'll see him next week at grandma's house. We made the trip back east, just me and my parents, and I was so excited. My entire life was here; my best friends were waiting to see me, my family was waiting, we were staying at a resort; it was going to be awesome.
The morning that we were supposed to go to my grandma's house I was woken up early in the morning with both of my parents standing over my bed. I was expecting them to tell me to get ready to head out, but there was a somber tone in the room. My mom had to be the one to speak because my dad was trying not to show too much emotion, as was the way with our family. After a long deafening pause, my mom grabbed my hand and told me "your uncle passed away last night." I retracted my hand from her immediately. Of course I didn't believe her, but the look on my father's face was too real. I was so angry, I had plans to see him that day, how dare he leave. The truth is I was angry that I didn't take that phone call a couple days before and tell him everything I wanted to say then.
My parents decided it would be better for me to spend the day with my friends while they went to my grandma's house to help her. It was a two hour drive to meet up with my friends, I cried the whole way and hid under a blanket in the backseat while listening to Avril Lavigne - Slipped Away on repeat. We ended our trip early and went back home, but not before I took a souvenir from his room to remember him by (every time I saw my uncle he gave me candy, so i took a handful which I still have in my desk drawer). I would wake up in the middle of the night for years remembering what I wanted to tell my uncle and run to my parents room crying and just tell them. So, now, I go out of my way to accept people and try to see their point of view because you never know when will be the last time you see someone or talk to them. Most importantly, it's just a good idea to be good to each other and that's something I learned from my uncle.
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh, it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same